bright eyes

The last few months I have been living with this couple.
Yeah, you know, the kind who buy everything in doubles.
They fit together, like a puzzle.
And I love their love and I am thankful
That someone actually receives the prize that was promised
By all those fairy tales that drugged us
And they still do me.

the perks of being a wallflower

We accept the love we think we deserve.

I am very interested and fascinated by how everyone loves each other, but no one really likes each other.

I remember one time we were walking. I dont remember where and I don't remember when. I don't even remember the season. I just know that was the first time I felt like I belonged someplace.

Maybe it's good to put things in perspective. Sometimes, I think that the only perspective is to really be there.

Sam and Patrick looked at me. And I looked at them. And I think they knew. Not anything specific really. They just knew. And I think that's all you can ever ask from a friend.

Things just keep going. We didn't talk about anything heavy or light. We were just there together. And that was enough.

I walked over to the hill where we used to go and sled. There were a lot of little kids there. I watched them flying. Doing jumps and having races. And I thought that all those little kids are going to grow up someday. And all of those little kids are going to do the things that we do. And they will all kiss someone someday. But for now, sledding is enough. I think it would be great if sledding were always enough, but it isn't.

It's kind of like when you look at yourself in the mirror and you say your name. And it gets to a point where none of it seems real. Well, sometimes, I can do that, but I don't need an hour in front of a mirror. It just happens very fast, and things start to slip away. And I just open my eyes, and I see nothing. And then I start to breathe really hard trying to see something, but I can't. It doesn't happen all the time, but when it does, it scares me.

And all the books you’ve read have been read by other people. And all the songs you’ve loved have been heard by other people. And that girl that’s pretty to you is pretty other people. And you know that if you looked at these facts when you were happy, you would feel great because you are describing “unity”. It’s like when you are excited about a girl and you see a couple holding hands, and you feel so happy for them. And other times you see the same couple, and they make you so mad. And all you want is to always feel happy for them because you know that if you do, then it means you’re happy, too. I just remember what made me think of all this. I’m going to write it down because maybe if I do I won’t have to think about it. And I won’t get upset.

I don’t know how much longer I can keep going without a friend. I used to be able to do it very easily, but that was before I knew what having a friend was like. It’s much easier not to know things sometimes. And to have French fries with your mom be enough.

If somebody likes me, I want them to like the real me, not what they think I am. And I don't want them to carry it around inside. I want them to show me, so I can feel it too. I want them to be able to do whatever they want around me.

So I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybe we'll never know most of them. But even if we don't have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there. We can still do things. And we can try to feel okay about them.

Not everyone has a sob story, and even if they do, it's no excuse

This moment will be just another story someday.

minus the bear

she's gone
across the border, man
and you're never gonna see her again
i could give a fuck about all you do to me
but your party's over, it's done, the end

take a step back and turn yourself around
the check has been cashed
there's no stopping it now
you're safe if i'm safe

halifax

lets drink this bottle to the very last drop
tell me what you find at the bottom
don't say you forgot what i needed
because all i needed was you

tonight i send out apologies
the type that cut off right over the edge
and if i try to say your name i'll just bite my tongue
it's your nightmare
make sure to handle it well
turn up your evil
turn down your care

if i'm the cure
you're the disease
do what you will
just know what this means

hush sound

take what you need while there's time
you and i will escape to the seaside
there is a storm in the distance
the wind breathing warning of its imminence
there is a lighthouse five hundred yards down
you and i will be safe there

there is a girl who haunts that lighthouse
she saved me, i was swimming
so young i almost drowned
under the water she sang a story
of losing her lover
she calls a warning
love, you are foolish, you're tired
your sleeplessness makes you a liar

the city is burning
the ocean is turning
our only chance is the lighthouse

her lover was a sailor
she went and she waited there
the door locked from the outside
lover never arrived
so she sings there
soft as a siren
luring the ships off their course

we went in, we climbed up and looked out
the door locked from the outside
three ghosts in a lighthouse

death cab for cutie

and it came to me then
that every plan is a tiny prayer to father time
and i rationed my breaths as i said to myself
that i'd already taken too much today
as each descending peak on the lcd
took you a little farther away from me
away from me

amongst the vending machines and year-old magazines
in a place where we only say goodbye
it stung like a violent wind
that our memories depend on a faulty camera in our minds
but i knew that you were a truth i would rather lose
than to have never lain beside at all
and i looked around at all the eyes on the ground
as the tv entertained itself'
cause there's no comfort in the waiting room
just nervous pacers bracing for bad news
and then the nurse comes round
and everyone will lift their heads
but i'm thinking of what sarah said
that "love is watching someone die"

so who's going to watch you die?

guster

dorothy moves
to click her ruby shoes
right in tune
with dark side of the moon
someone could tell me
where i belong
be calm, be brave
it'll be ok

no more messing around
and living underground
or new year's resolutions
by this time next year
i won't be here

to tell you the truth
i've said it before
tomorrow i start in a new direction
one last time, these words from me
i'm never saying them again
i know i've been half asleep
i'm never doing that again

and there are voices calling from a yellow road
to come downstairs and say hello
don't be shy
just say hello